Pregnancy after a loss can be really challenging. Since it’s estimated about 1 in 8 pregnancies end in miscarriage, that means as a woman trying to conceive, you may be dealing with a pregnancy after a loss. I often work with clients who have had a miscarriage in the past and for many it has been coupled with challenges getting pregnant in the first place.
Believing that you are pregnant:
When you finally get pregnant after a miscarriage and/or fertility challenge it can be really hard to believe that you’re pregnant again but also really challenging to trust that your body is going to be able to nurture your baby all the way to the end of the pregnancy and you’ll one day hold a baby in your arms.
The truth is I’ve been through this myself, just like many other women. I had a miscarriage in the second trimester and yes it was traumatic and the pregnancy that followed the loss brought with it many challenges. Since that personal experience, I have supported tens of women during pregnancy after pregnancy loss so I’m going to offer some suggestions.
How can I restore confidence in my own body?
What I’ve learned over the years is there are different ways to support women in this situation, to help restore your confidence in your body, to build a connection with the growing foetus in your belly in spite of your fears of another pregnancy loss.
Some common blocks:
Often women who are pregnant after a loss don’t want to believe that the new pregnancy is real until a certain point. Sometimes it’s after the first detailed ultrasound around 12 or 13 weeks, or the same week you lost a previous pregnancy or sometimes even the birth itself. The problem is that for many women, if you don’t believe in the pregnancy and form that connection with your baby even when they are only a few weeks in gestational age then you’re doing yourself and your baby a disservice. More and more research is emerging showing the importance of the connections and experiences during pregnancy. Whether we want to admit it or not, babies can and do feel while they are in utero and they are especially sensitive to a woman’s emotional state.
My understanding is that the underlying emotion here is fear: fear that the pregnancy will end, fear there is something wrong with the baby and sometimes vague unknown fears. Here’s how to overcome these fears:
- I find that giving a voice to these concerns during a reflexology or Arvigo treatment can help release them. The combination of being in a relaxed state, allows you to voice those unconscious fears and release them as well as find creative ways to improve your confidence in the pregnancy and bond with your baby.
- Bach Flower Remedies Aspen (for unknown, vague fears) and Mimulus (for known fears) are super helpful in reducing fears. Bach Flower remedies are safe to take during pregnancy. They help change your energetic state and help you become more positive about the pregnancy. In addition to addressing fears, Larch can improve self confidence and Cerato can allow you to be more in touch with your intuition and inner voice.
- I encourage women to journal their feelings. There is so much power in putting pen to paper, writing out what is bothering you and naming the emotions you are feeling. It can feel like a therapeutic release.
- EFT Tapping can be used on practically any emotional or physical issue, without risk of any known side effects. It’s a simple and effective technique that can be learnt very quickly and can be used for self-help.
These are just some ways that you can improve your feelings about pregnancy after a loss.
If you’d like to hear more about treatments before, during and after pregnancy, feel free to contact me HERE.
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